January 2012
32 posts
I am now single.
I swear to god, I'm losing my mind over the...
I want the sweatshirt to smell like him again. I want to watch movies and fall asleep in his arms. I want Les Miserables, but I apparently left it at home. I want to hear from him. I want to hear from anyone. I want some sort of semblance of sanity. I cry over the stupidest things and I hate it and that makes me cry even more. I want to sleep, but it’s 10pm and I can’t accept that I...
I need to stay occupied. Boredom breeds depression. These next three weeks will be hard.
I don’t want someone, I want you. It’s that simple.
3 tags
It’ll get better with time. I want us to still be together one, two, three months in the future so I’m going to be OK. I’m going to be happy.
Being OK comes in waves… I feel hopeless for hours and then suddenly I get this passing feeling that everything is going to be OK. I’ll be in the middle of French homework and suddenly I get this wave of emotion that tells me that I’ll be alright. I hope that my passing feelings are right. :)
Anonymous asked: Sorry you're having such a bad week. While I like the idea of you posting more here, I wish it was for a happier reason. Take care of yourself...
Nap Time
I’ve pushed myself pretty hard the past few days. So napping now, more homework later, and then a night in the dorms with Daniel. It’ll be nice to have a chill day. :)
mk. Current status of my relationship, for anyone who is following/read that terribly long post yesterday: We are actually still together, he says that it was a chore seeing me this past week, he apologized for the fiasco that was our three month anniversary (that’s a story that’s best told via text/private message) saying that my behavior Saturday made sense now, and said that his...
Fuck. There goes my second resolution. I am now ready to puke. again. I really am neurotic but “we need to talk later” is rather ominous.
Goals for today:
Eat food. I realized at about 7pm yesterday that I hadn’t eaten since 5 on Wednesday. So…fix that.
Be positive. This is a goal for the next week; be upbeat and happy everyday. Maybe if I force myself for a bit it’ll make it natural later.
Big Decision:
Everything is all in my head. I need to stop complaining. The sun is firmly lodged back in my anus. Party on!
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I’m scared that this is all going down. I don’t know what I did or what I’m not doing, but I feel like everything is going down right now.
Swim.
Just keep your head above, swim.
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Jack's Mannequin Tonight.
Riley is quite happy about this. :)
I’m trying to decide if I should stay after the show to try and meet Andrew again to show him my tattoo. I would love to but it’s a few hours drive back to campus and I need to be up at 7am to feed Lark. I’d like to get more than the 4 hours of sleep anyway.
Anonymous asked: Good luck with your resolutions. If you're like me, these things are a moving target and ultimately all you can do is the best you can under the circumstances. Speaking as someone who only knows you through your tumblr, I'd also recommend you try not to be so hard on yourself. Maybe it's just because you only post here when you're having a bad time. But it seems as if...
Second semester starts tomorrow.
I’m going to go to bed early. It’ll be a big day tomorrow. Not really, but I’m hoping that if I can manage to start the semester off well, that I can continue it. Instead of doing new years resolutions, I’m doing resolutions for the semester.
I’m going to:
Go to my classes more than I did last semester. I will reserve my two lectures a month skip, down from my one a...
A day of emotional ups and downs, and more downs, and a few more ups. But I only have 2.5 more hours that I need to amuse myself. Then to the airport to get Zeke. Then our first night together in almost a month. :)
I should fill up my gas tank, and shovel the walk, and clean off the floor. I really don’t want to do any of these things. Also, need to find a dress (preferably in my room) because apparently my dorm is having a spring formal. Fuck.
less than 24 hours left of being hereish.
8 hours in the car.
1 hour in the shower
1 hour getting ready
9 hours of sleep
5 hours of who knows what to try to keep myself occupied.
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The next time I complain about no one liking me/having no friends, remind me that I have almost 30 unread/unanswered texts in my inbox. I should probably stop being so antisocial. And I should really start laundry considering that I have to have my suitcase/car packed tomorrow night.
So much I should be doing, but so much interneting that I’d prefer to do.
Anonymous asked: Hope things are going better for you. :-)
I didn’t think that I’d ever consider Fast Times at Barrington High as music that’d fit my mood.
I really screwed up last night/this past week. I don’t know what to do to make this better. I’m thinking that I’m going to take advantage of today being so nice, go out and exercise, and try to forget my fuck ups.
I really need someone to talk to.
Anonymous asked: What's one thing you've achieved on your bucket list, and what is one you want to achieve?
I really don't know what I think of this. I feel...
I guess he called me at 3am and we had a 10 minute conversation? I guess I really can answer my phone half asleep. :/
He just offered to buy Lark
I swear to god, this kid is too wonderful for me. I told him that the scene in War Horse where Joey gets sold to the army made me sad because it reminded me that I’m going to have to sell Lark. Then he offered to buy him for me. I said no, and I will continue to say no, because Lark deserves more than I can do, but the simple fact that he was willing to buy Lark just to keep me happy makes...
Life is good again.
I just spent over 4 hours on Skype with Zeke, talking about pretty much anything/everything. It was amazing but I miss him terribly.
Resolution:
Be more positive. I’ve been a downer lately.
Also, a good song.
December 2011
66 posts
1 tag
2 weeks.
One of my New Years Resolutions this year (last...
It’s safe to say that that one wasn’t kept. I kept at least 3 others so I was moderately successful in my quest towards self betterment. And, as a bonus, I lost a ton of weight (well,15lbs, but that was a decent portion of my body weight), and that wasn’t even on my resolution list.
I don’t know what/if I’m going to make resolutions this year, but for today, I hope...
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I just got the BEST/cutest date idea for when Zeke...
1 tag
I'm hopelessly hopeful
Surprisingly I’m not well adapted to less than 3.5 hours of sleep. Also, I’m busy being insecure/nervous, because, for the first time in months, I didn’t talk to Zeke before going to bed. I barely heard from him at all yesterday. :(
I recently rediscovered my PS2. I only owned 3 games for it, so I’ve spent 7 hours over the past two nights playing Jak and Daxter. I’m 46% done with the game, I’m quite proud of myself, and my heart beat is going haywire. If video games can raise my heartbeat, I don’t want to think what actual exercise would do. eeek! I’m too out of shape.
Lovely Way to Start a Day:
Scrambled egg-whites, kiwi, and Moroccan Mint green tea. It’s a lovely way to start my day. At 2pm.
I can see why people with depression sometimes sleep through the day. It’s a way to not do anything. Me, on the other hand, I’m just bored to tears at home. So, I’m sleeping, playing video games, and eventually I’ll clean my bedroom, put away the dishes, and make...
The Hush Sound to perform two reunion shows
zfraley:
commonrevolt:
The Hush Sound have announced that they will be playing two reunion shows this February at the Bottom Lounge in Chicago. At the first show on February 3rd, they will play their entire album “Like Vines.” The second night, February 4th, will consist of a fan chosen set. You can find ticket information here.
ALL OF MY LOOOOVE!!
If you need a ride/place to crash...
Anonymous asked: While I enjoy hearing more about your life, you tend to share it when you're feeling down. So it's a mixed blessing for me. I feel your pain about college. I met my first love there, but it was a pretty tough time overall. Sometimes it's hard to know what you want from life, and that makes it harder to know what (and who) is right for you. I think I'm still not sure sometimes....
aaaaaand now i’ve fucked up again. I am not made for human relationships. I should just get a cat or two and end my life there.
5 tags
Welcome back to the Wonderful World of Riley:
As my blogging of late has been rather superficial, I feel the need to take advantage of the ill humor which has gripped me and turn it into a nice little glimpse into the darker corners which I’ve been neglecting.
My story starts about two months ago. I had friends and I had recently acquired a boyfriend. Things were pretty good. I was a little uncertain of myself in this new...
1 tag
I’m bored enough that I’m considering showering just so that I have something to do.
4 tags
I’m just lying here waiting to be forgotten.
